The bartender says “You can’t have that thing in here! Get out!” The guy says “It’s okay, this Alligator is highly trained.

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A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ”There’s the plank for trouble makers, there’s the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there’s the barrel for all you sexual needs.” ”Whatcha mean?

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A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ”There’s the plank for trouble makers, there’s the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there’s the barrel for all you sexual needs.” ”Whatcha mean

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After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that “we’re just waiting for the pilots.” The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind

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A little old lady walks into Bank of America and asks to open a savings account. The new accounts receptionist first thinks this is strange, probably because everyone is leaving them for credit unions now. At any rate, the accounts person asks her how much she wanted to deposit to open the account, and the little old lady replies, “Three million dollars.” The accounts person is startled, and says, “In what form?” and the little old lady says, “Cash

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One afternoon, in a land where Eskimos and Scotsman run into each other on the highway fairly often, and Eskimo was driving down the road when his truck breaks down.

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A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey.

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Two gentleman walked into the men’s locker room at their prestigious country club; one was wearing a Harvard jacket, the other a Yale pullover. After taking a leak, the Harvard man stopped to wash his hands–while the Yale man walked towards the door

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Two gentleman walked into the men’s locker room at their prestigious country club; one was wearing a Harvard jacket, the other a Yale pullover. After taking a leak, the Harvard man stopped to wash his hands–while the Yale man walked towards the door. The Harvard man looked at the Yale man disapprovingly

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One fine morning in the Garden of Eden, God looked down upon Adam and noticed that he was looking glum. So the Lord said to Adam “What troubles you, my Son?” Adam looked up to God ad said “I’m lonely, Father. I have no one to talk to.” So God said “Then I shall give you a companion, and she will cook and clean for you, and wash your clothes

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