Two Mexicans are stranded in the desert, on their last leg, about to die of thirst.

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A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ”There’s the plank for trouble makers, there’s the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there’s the barrel for all you sexual needs.” ”Whatcha mean?

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A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ”There’s the plank for trouble makers, there’s the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there’s the barrel for all you sexual needs.” ”Whatcha mean

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A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey.

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One fine morning in the Garden of Eden, God looked down upon Adam and noticed that he was looking glum. So the Lord said to Adam “What troubles you, my Son?” Adam looked up to God ad said “I’m lonely, Father. I have no one to talk to.” So God said “Then I shall give you a companion, and she will cook and clean for you, and wash your clothes

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One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street; and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop. As he approached, he realized it was his neighbor’s kid - Little Johnny. The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice: “You know, Johnny, it’s not healthy to eat all that candy.” Little Johnny looks up at him and quickly retorts “You know, my grampa lived to be 96 years old.” “Oh,” the man replied, “did he eat lots of candy?” “Nope,” retorted Little Johnny, “But he did mind his own damn business!” This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com , all rights reserved.

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Driving through town in his BMW, a successful young lawyer spotted two man on the side of the road eating grass out of somebody’s yard. Moved by how desperate the men had become, he pulls over to have a word with them, “Hey fellas, what is going on? Why are you eating grass?” asks the lawyer

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John’s not a great golfer - in fact, he stinks.

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I love to play with my Wii. Would you like to come over and play with my Wii?

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Leave it to those Asians to 1-up everything in existance, and the Snuggie is no exception.

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